suddenly everything i read or talk about with people who weren't there doesn't seem to catch my attention as much. i used to absorb myself in reading about others' thoughts but that doesn't seem to matter much any more.
i feel sad because i want to share all the visuals, all the memories and all the moments with those who weren't there. but then again, i think that it is no use attempting to replicate something that can never truly be replicated again. so i feel it pointless. but it was such a picture of beauty, of vibrance, of life and bursts of colour.
it's a pity that the glory of the time can only be appreciated by few. i wish there was a way of telling the select few how beautiful it was though, of conveying through rich pictures and choice words.
hopefully the excitement will not wear down and i will be able to find the same zeal to talk about it weeks on, the way i have in these last few hours.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Pre-Birthday Preparations!
Today, I enlisted the help of mom and Reuben to attempt to bake an apple crumble for dad's birthday tomorrow! We snuck into the kitchen while he was sleeping. Haha.
Modern baking! No more handwritten recipes. In 2008, we use laptops to bake.
And online step-by-step videos! Haha. Des sent me the vid, it looked super duper easy and idiot-proof. Hah! We'll see about that. And don't you think the apples are like Damn Green?! They tasted damn yummy.
Mom paring the apples. Wha paring is seriously like damn hard. Especially since the pare instrument in my house is damn lousy. I was damn scared I would just pare off an entire finger! So I resorted to dicing the apples.
That was until Reuben experienced some flour problems. We told him to go weigh the flour and then pour it into the sieve and sieve it. After weighing it, he poured it into the sieve and said,
"eh! why is it not going down?!" HAHA! We turned to look at realized that he expected the whole bunch of flour to immediately go through the tiny holes in the sieve. omg.
Then we told him you have to shake the sieve slowly. He decided it was taking forever and took over my job at dicing apples.
So after my excellent sieving skills, here is the result - nice pure mound of flour. haha.
mom and preubs.
diced apples! yummy!
Stewed apples!
Now time for the crumble part of the apple crumble. Reuben and his blocks of butter. Haha. I forgot to take a picture of the final result of the crumble. Cos my hands were damn dirty.
Dishing out the apples onto the glass dish.
And that's all! For now. I don't have a picture of the final result cos it's still baking! Cross my fingers and hope it turns out normal. Ok going to check on it now! bye!
Modern baking! No more handwritten recipes. In 2008, we use laptops to bake.
And online step-by-step videos! Haha. Des sent me the vid, it looked super duper easy and idiot-proof. Hah! We'll see about that. And don't you think the apples are like Damn Green?! They tasted damn yummy.
Mom paring the apples. Wha paring is seriously like damn hard. Especially since the pare instrument in my house is damn lousy. I was damn scared I would just pare off an entire finger! So I resorted to dicing the apples.
That was until Reuben experienced some flour problems. We told him to go weigh the flour and then pour it into the sieve and sieve it. After weighing it, he poured it into the sieve and said,
"eh! why is it not going down?!" HAHA! We turned to look at realized that he expected the whole bunch of flour to immediately go through the tiny holes in the sieve. omg.
Then we told him you have to shake the sieve slowly. He decided it was taking forever and took over my job at dicing apples.
So after my excellent sieving skills, here is the result - nice pure mound of flour. haha.
mom and preubs.
diced apples! yummy!
Stewed apples!
Now time for the crumble part of the apple crumble. Reuben and his blocks of butter. Haha. I forgot to take a picture of the final result of the crumble. Cos my hands were damn dirty.
Dishing out the apples onto the glass dish.
And that's all! For now. I don't have a picture of the final result cos it's still baking! Cross my fingers and hope it turns out normal. Ok going to check on it now! bye!
Monday, April 28, 2008
this one is for YOU
hello
today marks 4 years.
the last time we celebrated this was well, actually, never. haha.
so it's just as well that you called this morning and neither of us said a thing.
but i remembered just now and smiled to myself.
because after 4 years
after everything and everything and Everything,
i still rly rly like you
a lot.
more than i rly say to anyone, maybe even you.
thank you for being a part of my life. i am so much happier because of it.
hehe -grin-
today marks 4 years.
the last time we celebrated this was well, actually, never. haha.
so it's just as well that you called this morning and neither of us said a thing.
but i remembered just now and smiled to myself.
because after 4 years
after everything and everything and Everything,
i still rly rly like you
a lot.
more than i rly say to anyone, maybe even you.
thank you for being a part of my life. i am so much happier because of it.
hehe -grin-
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
pinch me.
Last week, on Idol Gives Back (ok don't judge me for watching American Idol. It's a way cool show. Haha), the idols closed the 3-hour long show with a finale (complete with pyrotechniques and everything) singing Shout to the Lord.
Here is the video.
It was a very, very strange and surreal moment for me. I have been singing Shout to the Lord in church ever since I don't know when. And to hear that being sung by a bunch of American Idols, on American Idol was just weird. In a good way. The interesting thing about it was
1) they chose it as the finale song
2) they did not change the arrangement of the song (same standard stuff people do in church, verse, chorus, verse chorus chorus last line x3)
3) they did not jazz it up the way they did "this little light of mine" in some of the earlier episodes
4) shout to the lord is a distinctively worship song written by Darlene Zscheche for HIllsongs Australia and is sung in churches as a song of worship. It is quite different from "Jesus take the Wheel" or "You Lift me Up"
And to add to that, they even sang it again on the results show the next day (back by popular demand). Isn't that just odd? What does Shout to the Lord have to do with raising money for AIDS infected Africans? I don't know. What does Shout to the Lord have to do with Anything on American Idol? I don't know! In any case, I suppose it's a very good thing. I for one, found the performance very -edifying-.
The things that puzzled me was how did Simon Fuller get the non-Christian idols to sing something that was so personally and clearly Christian? Some part of the lyrics go "Shout to the Lord all the earth, let us sing, power and majesty praise to the King, mountains bow down and the hills will roar at the sound of your name... I sing for joy at the work of your hand, forever I love you forever I stand..."
"Forever I love you"? So declaratory! How do you get someone who's not in the faith to sing something like that? A good thing still to me, I guess.
Either Simon Fuller just had a full-fledged Jesus encounter, or I really don't know what any more. Haha. But all is good for me!
Here is the video.
It was a very, very strange and surreal moment for me. I have been singing Shout to the Lord in church ever since I don't know when. And to hear that being sung by a bunch of American Idols, on American Idol was just weird. In a good way. The interesting thing about it was
1) they chose it as the finale song
2) they did not change the arrangement of the song (same standard stuff people do in church, verse, chorus, verse chorus chorus last line x3)
3) they did not jazz it up the way they did "this little light of mine" in some of the earlier episodes
4) shout to the lord is a distinctively worship song written by Darlene Zscheche for HIllsongs Australia and is sung in churches as a song of worship. It is quite different from "Jesus take the Wheel" or "You Lift me Up"
And to add to that, they even sang it again on the results show the next day (back by popular demand). Isn't that just odd? What does Shout to the Lord have to do with raising money for AIDS infected Africans? I don't know. What does Shout to the Lord have to do with Anything on American Idol? I don't know! In any case, I suppose it's a very good thing. I for one, found the performance very -edifying-.
The things that puzzled me was how did Simon Fuller get the non-Christian idols to sing something that was so personally and clearly Christian? Some part of the lyrics go "Shout to the Lord all the earth, let us sing, power and majesty praise to the King, mountains bow down and the hills will roar at the sound of your name... I sing for joy at the work of your hand, forever I love you forever I stand..."
"Forever I love you"? So declaratory! How do you get someone who's not in the faith to sing something like that? A good thing still to me, I guess.
Either Simon Fuller just had a full-fledged Jesus encounter, or I really don't know what any more. Haha. But all is good for me!
Friday, April 11, 2008
flat.
Was just reading back some of my posts in Feburary - pre Sheng's departure. As I read them I felt strangely detached from all those words rolling along on the screen. I don't know why, but I could not recapture any of the fear, worry, anxiety and uncertainty that seemed to consume me at that time. And guess what, it was only about 1 month or 2 ago.
Now that all I had anticipated has finally happened, it's like all the build up just fell flat. Not even a swooshing drop from a height but just .
Flat like that. I can't even describe it as an anti-climatic cos the build up of anticipation never got to a climax anyway. I suppose a lot of the melodramatic thinking that you occupy yourself with is really quite pointless and unfounded because none of what I expected to happened turned out in reality. I'm still pretty normal, sane, I have not really had a major catharsis save for a few cries, no sinking depression or sense of absolute despairing loss. There were the moments of course but none so prominent and intense that I can actually remember and want to give expression to now.
And it disturbs me that I cannot identify with my own writing. It's either 1) I'm not writing what I really think (I really hope not) or 2) I forget bad emotions easily. It could very well be 2). I realized that about myself - how I don't really remember pain, or worry, or anxiety, or sadness. I have no idea why. When I think back on bad experiences in my life, it is difficult to talk about it because it appears like an opaque blotch in my memory. I can make out its shape and I can see it there - I know what it is. But I cannot describe it beyond that because it is a blotch and it is opaque and I can't see details or make out its distinct shape.
Why is it like that with me? I wonder if I'm the only one and everyone else acutely remembers pain and suffering. because strangely, I don't. And it's quite bad because times of pain and suffering are probably times when I've learnt most. Instead I remember inane happy things like, bicycle rides in the botanics. And my memory is marked by colours like what dress I wore on that occassion and how the ice cream tasted on the other.
...
Now that all I had anticipated has finally happened, it's like all the build up just fell flat. Not even a swooshing drop from a height but just .
Flat like that. I can't even describe it as an anti-climatic cos the build up of anticipation never got to a climax anyway. I suppose a lot of the melodramatic thinking that you occupy yourself with is really quite pointless and unfounded because none of what I expected to happened turned out in reality. I'm still pretty normal, sane, I have not really had a major catharsis save for a few cries, no sinking depression or sense of absolute despairing loss. There were the moments of course but none so prominent and intense that I can actually remember and want to give expression to now.
And it disturbs me that I cannot identify with my own writing. It's either 1) I'm not writing what I really think (I really hope not) or 2) I forget bad emotions easily. It could very well be 2). I realized that about myself - how I don't really remember pain, or worry, or anxiety, or sadness. I have no idea why. When I think back on bad experiences in my life, it is difficult to talk about it because it appears like an opaque blotch in my memory. I can make out its shape and I can see it there - I know what it is. But I cannot describe it beyond that because it is a blotch and it is opaque and I can't see details or make out its distinct shape.
Why is it like that with me? I wonder if I'm the only one and everyone else acutely remembers pain and suffering. because strangely, I don't. And it's quite bad because times of pain and suffering are probably times when I've learnt most. Instead I remember inane happy things like, bicycle rides in the botanics. And my memory is marked by colours like what dress I wore on that occassion and how the ice cream tasted on the other.
...
Saturday, April 5, 2008
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