Please Stand Behind the Yellow Line

So today I finally asked a woman why all these clumps of people were standing so obediently behind the yellow line. So I said "Hi. Are you going to board the next train?". And she said, with a very perplexed and almost scared look on her face, "Er no. I'm waiting for the empty train." Then I say, "Oh, so all of you are just standing here waiting for an empty train?". And she says, "Er, yah..". Then I say, "Oh ok. Now I know. Thanks!".

So that's the answer to the great mystery of people standing behind the yellow line and not boarding the train! Hahaha. I mean I knew Singaporeans were retarded and kiasu (which is why I'm not angry at the fact that they are being such a bunch of eff-ing retards, standing behind the yellow line, all enamoured in kiasu fashion, to pounce at the first empty train that comes and consequently blocking everyone else's path), but I refused to believe they were as brainless as that - to stand behind the yellow line for no good reason. Haha. But now I know they have Some reason, at least.

On another note, Josh is working in the area too! Haha. Speaking of which, I didn't realize the number of people who were getting internships. Makes me feel like I'm missing out on something here. Hmm. There's a law firm, Wee, Ramayah, right next to my office, on the same floor. I should probably be working there instead of here. Gee wee, I just hope I get some good internships next yr then. If not, woe shall truly betide me.

Till next time!

Hello. Welcome to Shenton Way

So I've started working this week. Oh what a bore. I have to make millions of code calls everyday and say "Hello this is Thea calling from Invest Hong Kong. Would your company be interested in making direct investments into HK?" yada yada yada... But it's so brainless and they gave me 2 weeks to do it. But it's only been 2 days and I'm almost finishing. This is the first time in my life I'm fighting Against productivity.

BUT anyway, on my first day of work, I really felt like I was part of the driving force of the Singapore economy! Suddenly all the shit I used to read in econs and human geog was like, alive! Haha. I came out to lunch and looked out at the world of shenton way in wonderment. Everybody was hustling about and streaming out of all the different buildings - UIC, DBS, SGX, CPS etc etc, like little ants humming about. How exciting! And much to my delight, there are so many food places littered all around the CBD area! Wow.. everyday must walk to a different place for lunch.

And I think it's so novel that all the office buildings are within walking distance of each other. I always had this impression that the CBD was this big complicated mess, coupled with the fact that it costs so much to drive in and park in the area etc. But on foot, everything is literally a stone's throw away! How pleasant.

There's one thing that really amuses me though. Everyday at the train station, as I wait for the train, groups of people clump around the area of the platform where the mrt doors open, and just stand there, right behind the yellow line. So at first I thought, ok, all these people are gonna get on the train so I'll just wait. But No....when the train arrives, they just continue standing there and reading their papers like it's completely normal to do so! Hello! you're blocking my way thanks. And why the hell are you standing there when the train comes? What are you waiting for? Wth! I really don't understand. And even after I get on the train, and in that minute or so between the train doors closing and the train leaving, they just stand there and read or fan themselves like there's nothing wrong. And as the train pulls away, I see the ENTIRE PLATFORM is ridden with these clumps of people just standing behind the yellow line waiting to be raptured or something. It's so odd!

I'm going to ask all of them tomorrow what is wrong with them.

OK I need to call more transportation companies and ask them if they want to invest in Hong Kong now. BYE!

Happy Ma-dder Day

Happy Mother's Day Mom! I have the best mom on earth. My mom is the best because she does not gossip and does not speak like an ah soh or ah mah. I like my mom best cos she doesn't judge or participate in ill-speak about anyone at all and because she is always gracious in all her ways.

****

Holidays are so fun. I love the holidays. And I have three months of it to toy around with! What pure bliss. (:



Tahahaha!

Let's have some elitism for lunch, shall we?

You must be from NUS Law if

you are one of those considered atas enough to have your own campus in Bukit Timah.

you realise that your best friend in contracts is wikipedia.


"eh mambo 2nite" is your favourite phrase on wednesdays.

The drama in your life now rivals that of prisonbreak

You make frustration, mistake and nervous shock jokes about law school.

4 letter words like LAWR and Tort probably mean the same thing as a certain 4-letter F word.

You can name without hesitation at least three people who make you want to throw things when you see them raise their hands in class.

You know the difference between the determinism and intentionalism, positivism and naturalism, retributivism and utilitarism

You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming judges (and you facing them)

You think that the C J Koh Library is the place to be seen.

You agree that there are many ways to skin the cat , just that you dun seem to skin it in the way they award A+.

Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to s.300(c) your fellow learned brothers (and sisters)

You can’t remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself.

After the first semester you realized that “briefing a case” need only consist of looking it up on twee's muggers or mini hercules

You’ve seen your frens watching EPL or shopping online during legal theory classes.

When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can’t be sympathetic because you’re too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.

You have secret fantasies about being Lord XXX of Bishan or Baroness XXXX of Heng Mui Keng.

You know that you should never pick a fight with someone smaller sized than you, hit him on his head with a mortar or wooden pole more than once or commit a robbery with 5 or more people.

You know who are the fungstons, gans, zhangs, yins (or is it nahs?) are.

You're pretty sure the reasonable prudent man is a friendless fool who still lives with his mother.

You think the standard of care is that of a reasonable person on a SBS Bus (preferably with aircon)

Last of all, you think that your grades are subjectively objective.

I got this off someone in law school, of course.
How true. But how indulgent. Especially considering the fact that people not from nus law know jack shit about "twee's muggers" or CJ Koh Law Library for that matter. How we looooveee xoxoxoxo to indulge in our little elitist bukit timah campus-up-on-the-hill lives. WTF. Furthermore, I don't know the difference between intentionalism and determinism or retributivism and utilitarianism.

On a slightly similar note, I have sucessfully (I hope) completed 1 year in law school. Yay for me. They say it's the hardest year in law school. Man if that be the case, bring it on. I expected it to be sheer hell. But it was quite the scrape of atmospheric cake in between heaven and hell. Or maybe that's just because my grades will suffer for my scrape of cake later. Haha. But it's ok.

*DISCLAIMER: IN ALL MY OUTLANDISH COMMENTS, I AM IN NO WAY VERBALLY ATTACKING OR PATRONIZING ANYONE IN PARTICULAR. MOST OF THE TIME, I SPEAK FOR MYSELF.* Thank you.

Pure

Don't you sometimes wish you were pure. It's interesting they say, the laws of the country should not require the impossible of the people. Yet the laws of God require the complete impossible for me.

Frequently Mispronounced Words

opportunity = a-Port-tunity (with emphasis on the "por"! part)

appeal = a pill

sick leave = seek live

take a seat = take a sit

cream cheese = crim chiz

divorce = DIE-vorce

pizza = pissa

milk = mirk (where the "r" is pronounced as a blend of "r" and "l")

sailing = siel-ing

atmosphere = at-moss-phere

protege = pro-teach

Crim Chiz is my absolute fave.

Fish Shit

Have you ever seen fish shit?

These days, my fish seem to be shitting a lot. Everytime I turn to look at their grotesque faces, some black strand is being excreted from their behinds. And it's weird how they're shitting All the Time! Or maybe they just coordinate their poop times to coincide with the turning of my head. But seeing that the memory of a goldfish is a pathetic 6 seconds, I doubt they'd have the power of coordination like that. Haha.

I tried looking for images on "fish and faeces" or "fish shit" or "fish excreting faeces" but all to no avail. Sigh. Guess I can't give you guys a visual image of my fish excreting their waste!

HAHA this is utterly, tragically gross.